Life By Lindsey Rae

I've been quite sick since Monday night. Maybe just a cold or a bit of the flu. I usually have the daily headaches and allergies all that, but now having a bad cough and sore throat and chill and those kind of flu aches and pains made me remember that I haven't been quite so sick like this in quite awhile.
When I was in school, was taking 18-21 hours of classes per semester and had 2 hours of driving back and forth to do daily, I would always get sick like this; at least once or twice every semester for a few weeks...I must have been worn down and probably made me more susceptible to these things.
Since I haven't been doing the school thing for awhile, I seem to have been able to avoid it more than in the past.
Anyway, my concern now is that we have our Primary presentation on Sunday. As I previously said, keeping my class nice and quiet takes about all the energy I normally have. And on top of that, I am supposed to sing two solos! Solos without a mic....which I usually have a big enough voice to do, but at this rate, I can't hardly even talk. How will I say, "Be quiet...stop talking....stop poking each other..." over and over, and then sing two songs?

I feel like it's really stuffy in here right now and it's driving me crazy. It's become suddenly more humid this week. It's like the intense summer humidity just started and it just dropped in and doubled overnight. I usually like humidity, but tonight it's bugging me. I'm stuffed up and feel like I can't breathe. Maybe it's some allergies that are bothering me, but the humidity is making it feel worse to my sinuses.

It's around 11:30pm and it's still like, 80 degrees outside. That's pretty nice. I much prefer the warmer weather....except for the fact that warm weather means more bugs.

There are too many bugs, and I'm afraid of them.
I really hate it.
Actually, we got some pest control from Steven this week. I don't know if I mentioned it here, but my cousin, Steven, is down in Nashville right now selling pest control as a summer job. So, we got some from him...in hopes that I would live in fear less and it would improve my quality of life if I see less bugs.

Steven and his roommates have come over about 3 times now and hung out with us at our house; had dinner and stuff. It's been fun. It was fun to have Canadians over because at one time there were four of us Canadians in the house and only American (Jerrod). I felt good about that, because Jerrod likes to tease me and make Canadian jokes, but with four Canadians against one American, it was fun to be able to gang up on him for once. haha. That's the most Canadians that have ever been in our house....suddenly I have also really noticed that they (we....I....) talk a little different and they have a little different sense of humor. It's weird that I never noticed it before, but I think this is nearly one of the longest times since I have been back to Canada, so maybe that's why I notice it more suddenly.

Ok, this may not seem like a big deal to anyone reading this, but it is a big deal to me, so I'm going to tell you anyway!
It is my one year anniversary of getting allergy shots. Doesn't seem exciting? Well, this means that for exactly one year I have been faithfully getting one shot, sometimes 2 shots per week. One needle in each arm. I have probably got 200+ needles in this past year. That's quite a lot when I probably only had 30 in my life previous to this. I am just proud of myself that I stuck with it, because it's not fun. You have to go there, wait, get poked...twice...and wait 20 minutes before you can leave. It's just a pain. But, I made it through a full year of it, hardly ever missing.
I'm not sure how many more years I will have, but it seems to have helped some, so I will keep doing it if it will clear up these terrible allergies I have developed. It may take awhile, but I've got a year behind me and some improvement, so I have some hope about it now.

The last couple of months my allergies have been surprisingly not so bad. Still there, but not so bad. The headaches have become less severe too. I have them maybe only 3-4 times a week as opposed to all 7. I think maybe it was a combination of getting my allergy shots 1-2 times weekly for the last 10 months and also the migraine medication.
However, the seasons are changing now and as it gets more fall like out there, I feel them coming back more. Not so intense as before, but bothering me more than they did a month ago. I'm allergic to a lot of molds, so I wonder if maybe it's not because with more vegetation dying, that brings more mold around. We don't get much wind, so I think that most of the time things doing get moved around and away. They just sit there and mold.
Anyway, although I find that my allergies are not really seasonal at all, I think I do remember last year when the weather was colder, I did have more pain in my sinuses.
I hate winter.
Not just for that reason. I just hate winter all together. It's cold. It makes me depressed. I hate fall because it means winter is coming.
At least the cold season is short here. Except for last year....last year was cold for so much longer than usual! (And so now I can't believe in global warming!)

Monday I got up early because I had a very early appointment for June 5th to get re-tested for allergies. Well, it turned out Monday wasn't June 5th...that was Tuesday...so after I went down to the Doctor only to find that out,(haha) I went back early on Tuesday morning.
I was quite excited to get my tests done. I had my first allergy tests back in Janurary of 2006 and at that time I was surprised to find that I had developed allergies to quite a few things that had never bothered me as a kid. I have been getting allergy shots for a few months now, but I haven't responded at all. It does take awhile, but my Doctor said that I should have some improvement. I am still getting all the really bad symptoms, the worst being chronic daily headaches. It is all quite debilitating. I hate to complain...but it's hard not to.
Anyway, I had to wait over a month to get in! And I'm not even a new patient! (Once again this Canadian will maintain asking the question, "Now what is the benefit of privitized health care that truly makes it better?")

Initially when they test you they test for things that most people in the area are bothered by, but this time they were testing me for more specific things that they might need to add to my allergy shot. I got tested for about 80 things this time! It was crazy! Anyone who has ever been tested knows it's not so fun...long and very uncomfortable. They do a topical test where they put the liquid drops directly onto your skin and so you have to just sit there and can't move your arms at all for 20 minutes straight so the drops will stay in place. Well, for a person with ADD, this is pure torture. Really, the first thought is, "Uh, how about you just shoot me instead? Might be less painful."
Then, (this is the crazy part) I got under the skin tests, and I got 37 shots in one arm at one time! I couldn't believe it. Actually, the girl who gave them to me is pretty good at giving shots, which I was glad to have her, because one of the girls there is new and she hurts me a lot. But anyway, the girl I got is from the Bahamas so she talked to me about being both being immigrants and green cards the whole time she was sticking all those needles in my arm and so it distracted me. But when she was finshed poking me I looked down and realized what she had done to me and I was shocked! Now I look like I have chicken pox because I have red spots all over my arms.
Well, after all that I got tested for all those things, only a few came back positive enough to be something to be treated for. Last time I tested positive for both types of dust mites, cats, dogs, cockroaches, Pigweed, Bermuda grass, a bunch of trees and a bunch of kinds of molds. This time came back showing more specific molds. So, maybe that's why Tennessee has been harder on me because of the humidity and the extra moisture that we never had in Canada, causes more mold. But the worst of it is that I'm really allergic to food molds! Like bread, cheese, sour cream, ketchup, relish, mayo, vinegar...that sort of thing. I'm so sad about it! I'm so picky and don't hardly like to eat anything as it is! And bread is my favorite food, but now I'm not supposed to eat it! I can still eat the foods sometimes, just not supposed to eat them as often and not combinations of them. But like with bread, I liked to eat it with every meal. Now, I should probably not even eat it everyday.
Oh well, I guess I can just hope that maybe once they get my new allergy shot mix done and I get that in my system it will help some of these terrible symptoms I've had for so long. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time!

So, last week I had a very exciting day. I got to go to the Vanderbilt Voice Center! I have known about the center for a long time because I had read about a lot of untrained country singers who had to go there when they wreaked their voices from singing improperly for too long.

Anyway, I was super excited to go because this clinic is basically one-of-a-kind and one of the best in the country. My ear, nose and throat doctor (ENT) referred me there when I saw him a couple weeks ago for my allergy shot check-up. I told him that I was having tickles in my throat sometimes when I was singing higher notes and wondered if it was from all the junk in the air that I am allergic to. He said that since I am a singer, he wanted to send me to Vanderbilt because the equipment they have there is the best of the best. I usually like to get my ENT to check out my throat whenever I see him, just for my benefit to know everything looks ok, because obviously, it's a little more important to me than the average person and I think about it more. So I was glad that I could have the best equiptment in the best place check me out to let me know if everything was ok with me. If it's your career, it's better to just be safe and to watch for anything that could go wrong.

So, I went and I was there for almost 4 hours! I saw a total of 3 Doctors. They first checked me out and then numbed my nose in preparation for a scope (which isn't fun if you have allergies because you can't tell if your nose is running) and then I saw a speech-language pathologist P.H.D who did the scope down my throat. Not the most pleasant experience, but I have had it down the nose before and it is much worse that way. It pretty much just makes you gag...over and over....
Anyhow, while they have the scope in your throat they also have a microphone on you and a strobe light on your vocal chords so they can watch them vibrate. They do a video of it and you can watch yourself as you say and sing the vowels. Pretty wild! The Doctor told me that my vocal chords looked absolutely beautiful! I was so excited about that! She showed me the color and the shape, texture, etc., they should be and how mine are so perfect looking.
Then after, an Otolaragologist looked at my video and said that my vocal chords are some of the best looking they have seen in a long time. I was absolutely thrilled! Now, I know for the average person, this may not seem exciting, but for me, I am super sensitive to everything that happens in my throat, so having these doctors tell me that I was in excellent condition was SO great! Immediately the thought came to my mind that I was probably being blessed with healthy vocal chords because I was living the Word of Wisdom. Heavenly Father keeps his promises. Because really, with how bad my allergies are, I could be coughing a lot or something and that could be damaging....but I have beautiful vocal chords!

And another interesting thing is that all 3 Doctors I saw touched spots on the outside of my neck that hurt really badly. At first I panicked....thought, "Oh no! There's something wrong with my throat!" But, they all told me that it was just tense muscles. They could tell that I have had problems with high levels of tension and anxiety and that that was affecting the muscles in my neck, shoulders and throat. (I have had that tension since I was at least 10). My voice teacher and I always talk about the fact that my struggle is that I am just working too hard and that wears my body and my voice out faster than it should and to have the doctors confirm what I have always known that, yes, I am just too tense and working too hard, it very good to hear. So, for this, they are sending me to the Vanderbilt wellness center for physical therapy and then I will also go back to work with a speech-language pathologist who specializes in working with singers. So, I am looking forward to it. If they can do something to make me feel a little better with my tension and all that will definitely benefit my voice. Anyway, I was just so happy and impressed with the whole experience because they didn't find anything that looked bad, but they spent so much time with me and were really helpful and understanding. Great experience.

Oh, and they did give me some pictures of my vocal chords, from the video, to take come with me. I would post them...but somehow I don't think most people will appreciate how "beautiful" they apparently are.