Life By Lindsey Rae

Due to recent medical emergency in our household I have not had too much of a chance to post anything for awhile. I have been pretty busy lately with extra things. But, we are here and still alive and relatively well, all things considering.

And, I have recovered my missing diamond earing, which I thought I lost forever at the hospital. Not as important as just being here and alive, but, still good since it is always better to have two earings instead of one. :)

Still haven't got sleep study results back yet. It was supposed to have taken 3 days, but it's now been 2 and a half weeks. After talking to them on the phone numerous times and getting no results, I finally went into the sleep center on Tuesday to find out what was going on and spoke with the lead sleep technician (who did my study). She said that they were going to have it done that night and she would personally bring it to me the next day....which never happened. Apparently they had some problems merging the two different studies, because they usually don't have to do that, and it took them longer. I can understand that, but, they need to stop saying they have them and they will give them to me by the next day if they are not going to do that. I mean, this has happened at least 10 times that I have talked to them and they have given me that story.
And, they have already billed my insurance and so that bugs me that they are getting paid for a job they haven't finished.
Mostly, my concern is that I need these results before I can re-order my medicine. I get my medication through mail order through my insurance and so it will take about 2 weeks to get it. Plus, I may still need time to make an appointment to see my doctor.
I'm not going to spend a bunch of money ordering 3 months worth of medication that I may not be taking after I get those results back and talk to my doctor.
I'm running out of my medicine, so I really need to get this taken care of. I've explained this. But, still no results.
So, now Jerrod is going to have a chat with them. Somehow when Jerrod chats with people they always seem to listen. He's good at these things.

No sleep test results yet. They said I should have them by Monday....and being it's Tuesday, I do not. I called and they said at least by Thursday.

I find it really frustrating. I mean, that's fine if it's going to take a week (or over a week as seems to be the case) but just say that! Don't keep tell me 3 days, if you can't deliver. Then I just worry about getting them and feel like I have to keep calling about it, which I really don't like to do, because it makes me feel like I am being obnoxious. This is the 2nd time they've done this to me, so I'm getting pretty irritated. I expressed this concern and was told that the first time it was just some "miscommunication" in the office that caused it. Well....what is it this time?

So, I have had a pretty bad week...and have done basically nothing, literally, because I have been so tired, it's painful.

I actually had to have a second sleep test scheduled so they can try to figure out why I am so tired during the day. As of the first study, they were leaning towards the possibility that I may have Narcolepsy or Hypersomnia. The second test is a daytime test, so in order to prepare for this test, I had to completely go off one of my medications and as a result, I have been so tired, I'm half dead. I really didn't even have energy to type anything. I was a whole week without my medicine and it was a painful experience.

Today I finished my second study. When I finally got to take my medicine after it was done today, I felt an overwhelming sense of gratitude to be living in a time where we have modern medicine to help us. Since I'm reading and thinking about history a lot, the thought came to me: "What if I had lived in Elizabethan times, or something like that, and had this condition?! How would I survive?" It made me sad to think of how terrible it would be to live like that...I guess even though I am usually pretty tired, I have now been made painfully aware of how tired I naturally am without any medication to help me.

I won't know all the results of my study until probably at least Monday.

So, I'm still waiting to get my sleep study tests back. I think it will probably (hopefully) be Monday. It takes them a few days to go over them. I read somewhere that a single sleep study generates 800 pages of data.

I'm very anxious about it, because, I didn't feel like I slept the same at the study as I normally do. I didn't think I dreamed as much and I definitely didn't get to sleep as long. I didn't fall asleep until 1:00am and they made me get up before 6:30am. Normally I sleep at least 10 hours. So, I just really hope the results will be the same as they would be on a "normal" night....or at least that they got all the information they need to make an accurate diagnosis.

I had a migraine the next day and just felt so frustrated about it the next day because they won't tell you any results at the time. I guess because the technicians aren't doctors, they can't. But, I know they know more than they let on. And they try to ask you all these tricky questions to see what your perception and interpretation of your sleep is, so see if you are accurate or not. I was just irritated that I couldn't find out right away what I need to do next.
I do think that I am going to have to go back for another test where I will stay one night and then one day and have a daytime test.

I just am really anxious about all of this because I would really like to find a way that I can feel better...and I've tried so many things already, it would be nice if this was finally the answer to what is affecting me.

Tonight is an exciting night for me. I'm going to go have a sleep study done.

I have had trouble sleeping almost my entire life. Even when I was little, I didn't ever want to go to sleep. Now, not only do I have terribly bad insomnia, I have chronic daily fatigue which never seems to go away. And the problem is, when you are sleeping 10-12 hours a day and then spending the rest of the time just feeling tired and/or sick and tired, you can't accomplish much.

So, I'm hoping that my sleep study will give me some insight into what might be wrong with me that I am not well. It would be great if they could help me. I feel like I've tried so many things already...I've wanted to go have this done for awhile now, but I thought it was going to be kind of expensive. Turns out, insurance is going to cover me 100%! I am so happy about that.

So, I go stay overnight there tonight and possibly another time if they need to get more results. I really hope they can tell me something that will help! I'm exhausted!

I think you know that when a person is this excited about getting a bunch of medical tests done they are getting desperate!

I got my annual eye exam today. I knew it was going to be a year since I had it done this April and so I was debating on whether or not I should order more contacts before my prescription expired. (Because of course, it's cheaper to not have to pay for a new exam). But, Jerrod said I should go ahead and get a new prescription before I ordered new ones, so I made an appointment to see the doctor.

As it turns out, she said my eyes were "great" and there was not any change from last year. I was surprised because from the year before to last year, I had my biggest change in prescription ever, so I expected they would have got worse this time too. But, it was exactly the same!

So, after all that and $75 later, I could have done without the appointment anyway, it seems. Oh well, I guess you never know. At least I have some insurance coverage...it could be worse....
I am so cheap....

Now comes that hard part in finding a good deal on contacts. I love the Focus Night & Day that I wear so much...it's almost like not having them at all, because you can sleep in them up to 30 days. They are more expensive then some, but they never, ever bother me.(The first couple brands I tried as a teenager weren't very comfortable at all.) And actually, my eyes feel better with them in, because apparently, when you have allergies the contacts can kind of shield your eyes from what irritates them. So, I can hardly stand to take them out...which isn't good either, because the eyes need to rest sometimes, but, it's so difficult to wear glasses!

I actually had a couple of semi-interesting thoughts today I was going to write about, but I have a super bad migraine tonight and so now I can't focus enough to write anything...so I may have to try another time...
Ahh! My head hurts sooo much!!!
Well, at least it's better than it hurting everyday like it used to...every few days is somewhat bearable.

Ok, one funny thing that I learned today:
So, this receptionist from one of my Dr.'s offices called me and left a message on my voice mail, saying, " This is the doctors office Just calling to remind you about your follow-up appointment on Monday. You can call us back if you have any other questions."
Uh, yes, I do have a question: Who are you? I have at least 5-10 doctors that could be calling me for a follow-up appointment, so I'm pretty sure that's a question I need to find out.
I called the number back and say, "Uh, I hear I have an appointment, but who are you?!" haha. They told me that according to HIPAA law they can't say the name of the Doctor or clinic. It's just the "Doctor's office". Kind of weird. I never knew about that before...at least none of my other doctor's offices do that...

Ok, this may not seem like a big deal to anyone reading this, but it is a big deal to me, so I'm going to tell you anyway!
It is my one year anniversary of getting allergy shots. Doesn't seem exciting? Well, this means that for exactly one year I have been faithfully getting one shot, sometimes 2 shots per week. One needle in each arm. I have probably got 200+ needles in this past year. That's quite a lot when I probably only had 30 in my life previous to this. I am just proud of myself that I stuck with it, because it's not fun. You have to go there, wait, get poked...twice...and wait 20 minutes before you can leave. It's just a pain. But, I made it through a full year of it, hardly ever missing.
I'm not sure how many more years I will have, but it seems to have helped some, so I will keep doing it if it will clear up these terrible allergies I have developed. It may take awhile, but I've got a year behind me and some improvement, so I have some hope about it now.

So, unfortunately, our co-pay for prescriptions went up at the beginning of this year. We used to pay $10 for generic, $20 for preferred brands, and $30 for non-preferred brands. We thought the prices were going to be increasing $10 each, but as it turns out, each has doubled. I didn't realize this until I ordered a refill for my migraine medicine the other day and saw it came to $60, instead of the usual $30.
This is for a 3 month supply, however, so at least you get a decent amount. The crazy part is, although I pay $60 for my migraine medicine, on top of that my insurance still pays $446.00! So, thats over $500 for 90 little pills. Which means, they cost approximately $5.62 each. Now that is crazy. This is the cost of preventing daily headaches. I am very upset that my co-pay has doubled, but thank goodness we have decent insurance. How would someone possibly afford it other wise? The average person couldn't. You just live with your migraines or whatever else is wrong with you I guess...If you can live with them, without your $500 medicine.

Last week I had to go see an oral surgeon because I am supposed to have some preventative dental work done sometime. So, I went for a consultation. Although I was told by my refering dentist it probably wouldn't cost anything as a consultation, I wanted to be sure before I went in, just in cause I they decided to charge me some outrageous amount as a surprise at the end. So, I asked the receptionist about 3 different times what or if there would be any charge for this appointment. She pretty much avoided giving me an answer for whatever reason, so I tried to make it clear that basically I didn't want to see any dentist if it was going to cost a bunch of money....I didn't really want to see a dentist anyway. Well, she told me that there was a couple ways they could bill my insurance so it shouldn't be a problem. So, I went in...saw the surgeon and all that and then he says that I should have the surgery and so he wants to take 3 pictures of my teeth as kind of the before pictures for his little "before and after" book and also, so they can send it to the insurance for their billing stuff. Well, at the end of all this I meet with insurance lady so they can tell me how much it is going to be for my surgery. Ok fine. At the end of all that, then she says that my insurance will pay for my visit today but that I have to pay a fee for the pictures they took. So she has to check on the price of these. Now, I get a feeling that they are going to give me a cost that is going to be high and that annoys me, but I guess it is what it is. Now, keep in mind the dentist just snapped 3 poloroid pictures of my teeth. So, this lady comes back and tells me that the pictures are going to be $27. I am pretty irritated because I know that obviously It does not cost $27 for the dentist to take 3 poloroid pictures. So, then, she says, "How would you like to pay?" and as I give her my check card, she says, "ok, that will be $81."
"What? You just said $27."
"Well, that is for one picture. So it's $27 times three."
So, I threw my card at her and she takes it to be processed and I instantly got so mad. When she came back, I asked her, "How can you possibly just take my card and charge me that? That is less than $2 worth of film. Don't you feel kind of bad about doing that? I mean, you may as well just have stolen the card from my wallet, because you really are stealing money from me!"
So, that initial receptionist comes in. I said to her, "I asked you several at the beginning to tell me what you would be charging me for this visit and you didn't make me aware of this." She stumbled through excuses, but she really didn't make any sense. They wouldn't listen to me. And I was so mad. I was already extra irritable and not feeling well from the migrane medicine my neurologist had given me a few days before. So, I left because I didn't know what I could do. I called Jerrod and told him and he explained that they could only charge what the reasonable and allowable for the insurance was and that I should go find out what the code from the insurance was so I could call the insurance and find out if they had followed that guideline. (Americans and their insurance...I don't know anything about it.) But I really didn't want to go back there. So, I talked Jerrod into taking care of it. He called them and right away they promised to refund my money. Then, they called me to appoligize! He can always make people do what he wants and nobody listens to me!
Anyway, I got my $81 back, which was very good. But, is that not the most terrible thing that the surgeon would charge that? It's dishonest in my opinion. Well, I don't trust him to cut my mouth open now and don't want to give him my business. If he charges $81 for everyone who gets snapshots at their consultations, he probably doesn't need my business. Anyway, he doesn't accept any medical insurance, only dental and using my dental it will still cost me around $2000 to get the surgury with my co-pay. But, I did find out after all that, that my medical insurance will most likely cover it through a different provider and I have 100% coverage with that...so that's an no-brainer.

Monday I got up early because I had a very early appointment for June 5th to get re-tested for allergies. Well, it turned out Monday wasn't June 5th...that was Tuesday...so after I went down to the Doctor only to find that out,(haha) I went back early on Tuesday morning.
I was quite excited to get my tests done. I had my first allergy tests back in Janurary of 2006 and at that time I was surprised to find that I had developed allergies to quite a few things that had never bothered me as a kid. I have been getting allergy shots for a few months now, but I haven't responded at all. It does take awhile, but my Doctor said that I should have some improvement. I am still getting all the really bad symptoms, the worst being chronic daily headaches. It is all quite debilitating. I hate to complain...but it's hard not to.
Anyway, I had to wait over a month to get in! And I'm not even a new patient! (Once again this Canadian will maintain asking the question, "Now what is the benefit of privitized health care that truly makes it better?")

Initially when they test you they test for things that most people in the area are bothered by, but this time they were testing me for more specific things that they might need to add to my allergy shot. I got tested for about 80 things this time! It was crazy! Anyone who has ever been tested knows it's not so fun...long and very uncomfortable. They do a topical test where they put the liquid drops directly onto your skin and so you have to just sit there and can't move your arms at all for 20 minutes straight so the drops will stay in place. Well, for a person with ADD, this is pure torture. Really, the first thought is, "Uh, how about you just shoot me instead? Might be less painful."
Then, (this is the crazy part) I got under the skin tests, and I got 37 shots in one arm at one time! I couldn't believe it. Actually, the girl who gave them to me is pretty good at giving shots, which I was glad to have her, because one of the girls there is new and she hurts me a lot. But anyway, the girl I got is from the Bahamas so she talked to me about being both being immigrants and green cards the whole time she was sticking all those needles in my arm and so it distracted me. But when she was finshed poking me I looked down and realized what she had done to me and I was shocked! Now I look like I have chicken pox because I have red spots all over my arms.
Well, after all that I got tested for all those things, only a few came back positive enough to be something to be treated for. Last time I tested positive for both types of dust mites, cats, dogs, cockroaches, Pigweed, Bermuda grass, a bunch of trees and a bunch of kinds of molds. This time came back showing more specific molds. So, maybe that's why Tennessee has been harder on me because of the humidity and the extra moisture that we never had in Canada, causes more mold. But the worst of it is that I'm really allergic to food molds! Like bread, cheese, sour cream, ketchup, relish, mayo, vinegar...that sort of thing. I'm so sad about it! I'm so picky and don't hardly like to eat anything as it is! And bread is my favorite food, but now I'm not supposed to eat it! I can still eat the foods sometimes, just not supposed to eat them as often and not combinations of them. But like with bread, I liked to eat it with every meal. Now, I should probably not even eat it everyday.
Oh well, I guess I can just hope that maybe once they get my new allergy shot mix done and I get that in my system it will help some of these terrible symptoms I've had for so long. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired all the time!

So, last week I had a very exciting day. I got to go to the Vanderbilt Voice Center! I have known about the center for a long time because I had read about a lot of untrained country singers who had to go there when they wreaked their voices from singing improperly for too long.

Anyway, I was super excited to go because this clinic is basically one-of-a-kind and one of the best in the country. My ear, nose and throat doctor (ENT) referred me there when I saw him a couple weeks ago for my allergy shot check-up. I told him that I was having tickles in my throat sometimes when I was singing higher notes and wondered if it was from all the junk in the air that I am allergic to. He said that since I am a singer, he wanted to send me to Vanderbilt because the equipment they have there is the best of the best. I usually like to get my ENT to check out my throat whenever I see him, just for my benefit to know everything looks ok, because obviously, it's a little more important to me than the average person and I think about it more. So I was glad that I could have the best equiptment in the best place check me out to let me know if everything was ok with me. If it's your career, it's better to just be safe and to watch for anything that could go wrong.

So, I went and I was there for almost 4 hours! I saw a total of 3 Doctors. They first checked me out and then numbed my nose in preparation for a scope (which isn't fun if you have allergies because you can't tell if your nose is running) and then I saw a speech-language pathologist P.H.D who did the scope down my throat. Not the most pleasant experience, but I have had it down the nose before and it is much worse that way. It pretty much just makes you gag...over and over....
Anyhow, while they have the scope in your throat they also have a microphone on you and a strobe light on your vocal chords so they can watch them vibrate. They do a video of it and you can watch yourself as you say and sing the vowels. Pretty wild! The Doctor told me that my vocal chords looked absolutely beautiful! I was so excited about that! She showed me the color and the shape, texture, etc., they should be and how mine are so perfect looking.
Then after, an Otolaragologist looked at my video and said that my vocal chords are some of the best looking they have seen in a long time. I was absolutely thrilled! Now, I know for the average person, this may not seem exciting, but for me, I am super sensitive to everything that happens in my throat, so having these doctors tell me that I was in excellent condition was SO great! Immediately the thought came to my mind that I was probably being blessed with healthy vocal chords because I was living the Word of Wisdom. Heavenly Father keeps his promises. Because really, with how bad my allergies are, I could be coughing a lot or something and that could be damaging....but I have beautiful vocal chords!

And another interesting thing is that all 3 Doctors I saw touched spots on the outside of my neck that hurt really badly. At first I panicked....thought, "Oh no! There's something wrong with my throat!" But, they all told me that it was just tense muscles. They could tell that I have had problems with high levels of tension and anxiety and that that was affecting the muscles in my neck, shoulders and throat. (I have had that tension since I was at least 10). My voice teacher and I always talk about the fact that my struggle is that I am just working too hard and that wears my body and my voice out faster than it should and to have the doctors confirm what I have always known that, yes, I am just too tense and working too hard, it very good to hear. So, for this, they are sending me to the Vanderbilt wellness center for physical therapy and then I will also go back to work with a speech-language pathologist who specializes in working with singers. So, I am looking forward to it. If they can do something to make me feel a little better with my tension and all that will definitely benefit my voice. Anyway, I was just so happy and impressed with the whole experience because they didn't find anything that looked bad, but they spent so much time with me and were really helpful and understanding. Great experience.

Oh, and they did give me some pictures of my vocal chords, from the video, to take come with me. I would post them...but somehow I don't think most people will appreciate how "beautiful" they apparently are.